Monday, September 28, 2009

This is an explanation

So this is an explanation. If this is not a blog, then what is it? Well ... it starts with a book thats not a book.

Hmm... im gonna backtrack.

Heres the story. Im a junior in college, I run track and field. SO my day goes like this: wake up, eat, lift, go to classes, practice, eat, do homework, maybe hang out with friends.
But emotionally ... this year is different from the past for many reasons ....
1. I live off campus. I live in a house! It still blows my mind that little lindsey is living in a house, paying bills, being a grown up.... WEIRD. But I love it. I live with 5 other girls, so its never lonely.
Yes, you heard right 5 other girls. 6 total.
Six girls, one bathroom. Some may call it a brothel. I just call it a good freicken time.

2. Im actually taking classes that relate to my major. Nutrition. FINALLY. Im mostly done wtih all those gen eds that I just feel like are a waste of my time and Im fully enjoying going to class. And doing homework isn't even really a hassle because Im reading about what i love. I love learning about nutrition! Im doing what i love! ... I could go on and on and on about nutrition ... but thats not what this is about ... I just feel like im growing up. But sometimes its unfamiliar to face the reality of it all...

3. Im single and independent. Sooooo .... I'm not going to get into it, But basically the point I'm getting at is that, emotionally, Im in a very different state then I've been for the past year and a half. So I just need to do something different. I need a distraction. Basically.

So saturday it was a beautiful fall day in Amherst Massachusetts, and to distract myself from sitting around thinking thoughts that I really don't need to be thinking ... me and two of my girlfriends went uptown, strolled around, got a coffee ... and walked into a bookstore ...

But apparently I didn't pick up a book. Honestly, if you see a book titled "This is not a Book" ... you would pick it up too.
Right? How can you not? Its curiosity. Then I flipped to the back to read what it was about ... and it didn't tell me. It told me that this book is up to me to exist. It is my imagination that will bring it to life. Its my own journey. The point (I guess) is to embark on something that you don't know what it is ... that you don't know what will come of it ... but you do it anyway. You use your imagination to get you through, you change the path of it if you wish, you go faster or slower depending on how you feel .....

And I need it in my life right now. I feel like a strong powerful independent woman at the moment. But something feels off. Ive changed a lot of things in my life in hopes that I'd get what i want, but i don't have it yet ... I feel like Im in the middle. In the eye of a hurricane .... intermission of a play .... Just waiting for the rest to come, to see how it all plays out, to see the end. Is there happiness at the end? Is there peace? I don't know ... Im just kinda waiting and passing the time.

So Im ready to embark on a journey, and let my imagination take me away. Maybe this book/ not a book will get me out of this funk. Or just pass the time and distract me while Im here ... either way it is a journey, and Im ready to go. Im ready to move on. In any direction ... Im just ready to do something.

This is Not a Book told me to remember these three things:

So .... this is not a blog.
this is my distraction
this is my imagination
this is my little experiment with being silly and writing on the internet :)
this is me telling you about all the crazy, stupid, possibly pointless things I will do just to do SOMETHING. And hopefully you will find it entertaining.

I am going to read the thing, that is apparently not a book, and tell you all about it! =)

So Page 1:
This is not a book, this is an inconvience. Take This is Not a Book everywhere you go for one week. You must place it in full view at all times.

Im about to go walk across campus, lift weights, study, eat lunch, go to two classes, go to practice, get drug tested, and come home ... all while keeping This is not a Book in full view ...