Sunday, January 3, 2010

This is finding security in an unsettled life.

On page 101 and 102 I was supposed to create a map based on some aspect of my every day life.
But I felt stumped.
Nothing is really the same every day. I mean...I suppose I wake up and walk to the bathroom every morning and then walk to the coffee maker. But that would be a really boring map. And plus, this morning I was home. Home home. So then I had to ask myself, "Do I make a map of my trip out of bed to the bathroom and to the coffee maker based on Home Home, or based on my house at school?" Because at this stage in my life, I'm at school more often. Yet, I've still spent most of my life at Home Home. I got too confused and I nixed that idea.

I then supposed that since I am normally at school a lot, I could make a map of how I go to classes. Because I go to classes Monday through Friday and school is basically my everyday life. But I don't have the same classes every day, my schedule changes. And every day is different, it might not be a direct route to class all the time. I could stop and eat or meet up with a friend. And most times I walk ...but sometimes its too cold out (since it is winter in New England) and I take the bus. Walking and the bus are two totally different routes.
Needless to say, I couldn't settle on a map based on my route to campus every day either.

I almost got discouraged. At the moment I'm distraught over going back and forth from home to school. It's tough. Emotioanlly exhausting. And this is just one more thing to be upset about. Why can't I make a map of my everyday life??! Why isn't my life stable? Why haven't I got a routine? Why do I feel like I'm never settled and I can't relax and just be at peace with my everyday mapped out, routine, settled, stable life?

Wait ... why would I want that right now anyway?

Would I seriously rather just enter the work force, get a full time job work my 40 hours a week M-F, find a place to live, make the same commute every day and feel settled?

Granted, there are pro's and con's to each side. But for now...I'm independent and young. Being in college means that my life is constantly getting a switch up. Term to term, year to year. I get rapid changes and rapid results. If I don't like a class, its OK! It'll be over in 4 months! If I don't like a roommate, its OK! I can switch! Nothing is permanent. In 14 days I went from school to home to boston to new york to home to school. Its fun to travel, explore, have the ability to leave! But sometimes this can also bother me. Sometimes I just want to stay in one place so that I have the time to establish myself or accomplish something or feel settled about my life. But even though I get very anxious about where my life is going ... the truth is, I wouldn't have it any other way. Because rather than feeling constrained to where my life is at, I'd rather feel overwhelmed with options as to where my life could go.

So no, I don't wake up in the same place everyday. (That does not mean what you think it does). And no I don't have the same goals and tasks ahead of me everyday. So no, I could not think of a map to create for my everyday life.

But I compromised.
Right now, my everyday life is a life that is not fully settled. One that changes frequently. But no matter where I go, what I do, who I'm with, I will always have home. And I love running and have for years. And know that I will always run in the future. So despite my rapidly changing life, I can always count on two things to always be there for me: home and running.

This is a map of a quick simple Out-and-Back route that I always do when I'm at home. Its EXACTLY 2 miles so its great for me to do on an easy day; or its great to do as a warm up for a sprint workout; or its great to do as a cool down after a plyos and lifting day; or its great to do with pick-ups in between. Basically, its my fallback every time I go home. It never lets me down.

No my life is not settled. I cant be sure that I will do the same thing every day. But it feels good to know that there are some things in life you can count on. No matter what I do with these two miles, it will always be exactly two miles. And it will always be waiting for me at home.

No comments:

Post a Comment