Thursday, November 26, 2009

This is my excuse for failure. But I have to say ... I think its legit.

Okay so the very next day after deciding that I wanted to give food to starving children ... I'm walking through a building on campus and I see a box collecting non-perishable food items and canned good donations for the Food Bank of Western Mass. Irony? I think not.
Fate? ... My life's calling? Possibly.
You can sure as heck bet, I donated 2 cans of green beans, canned corn, and a box of extra butter movie theatre popcorn. (Because I figured if they're food insecure and starving then they might need the extra calories).

The next day, was maybe not so much giving away - but more giving back. A week ago I was at practice, and an hour into it I felt lethargic and shaky and weak. And my coach was kind enough to give me one of his granola bars, which really helped boost my energy again, and I was able to have a good practice! So in the spirit of "giving away," I also decided to "give back" and I replaced his emergency granola bar stash with one of my own.

So of course at this point I'm feeling really good about life. Thanksgiving is coming ...and I just keep giving and giving ... and it feels great! My spirits are high, we're in the holiday season, people are great, the world is wonderful yada yada blah blah ... and then I failed. What goes up, must come down....

Yesterday I did not give anything away. In fact, something got taken from me. And no, that is not an excuse. I know. But it really crushed me. I was so upset over it that I got distracted and forgot about trying to give away. All I could think about was the fact that something got taken from me.

So that you can possibly better sympathize with me, and not think Im a jerk for breaking my committment, I'll try to justify myself and explain the situation. It's kind of a big deal.

Yesterday its a cold rainy day. Hardly anybody is on campus because they all went home for Thanksgiving. I decided to stay the day and work in lab for 4 hours. After that I REALLY REALLY just wanted to be home for the holiday. But I decided to be a good athlete and practice in the rain, all by myself, because I don't want to let down my team and my coach. So I go to the building where I practice EVERY day. I decide to run 3 laps inside before braving the cold rain. I put my iPod down, underneath my headband in the corner of the room. I run one lap, check to see its there, it is. Run a second lap, check to see its there ... it is. Run a third and final lap before being done .... iPod is gone.

The next 10 minutes are so blurry right now. It was pure adrenaline. I stormed into the gym where about 25 - 30 boys are playing basketball. I demand for my iPod. Nobody is fessing up. I steal their basketball and stop their game. I rip into them. Inappropriate words were said. Finally someone told me who took it ... the kid obviously ran away with it seeing as he snipped it from me right under my nose and knew I'd come looking for it. I said some more inappropriate things about nobody being a decent person to stop him as they watched him steal something they knew wasn't his. I was not about to let some immature 16 year old boy steal my $180 iPod, on MY campus, in MY practice building, when I was gone from it for no more than a minute and a half.

I mean, ya... I shouldn't have put it down. But am I not supposed to trust people ever? Am I really in the wrong to think that I can't walk away from something that belongs to me for 2 mintues, in a place where I go everyday, a place where I deserve to be and should feel safe in, and think that nobody will take my stuff. Is that too much to ask?

Either way ... I wasn't going to let this go. I demanded respect from those boys and I got it. I called the cops on him. He stole from me. I got witnesses. Name, address, number, fathers name, mothers name, fathers profession and work location ya da ya da ....

...Seriously? I can not believe that happened to me. As much as I was in the "holiday spirit," ... I hope that kid gets it. I'll get it back though, I have no doubts. Either that, or money for it. Or I'll bring him to court...whatever. I go to UMass. I don't mess around.

SO, yeah, as you can see, I was a bit worked up and distracted. So after having some kid steal my iPod, I wasn't necessarily in the giving mood.

Does anybody sympathize with me? Am I excused? Or am I a let down? At a time when it was must crucial to prove that I am still a giving person, even when I don't get anything in return, I failed. But to be honest ... I don't feel too guilty. I kind of excuse myself. Having my iPod stolen for no reason, when I did nothing wrong is kind of unfair to me. Plus, today I gave my brother my gum, I gave an old hat to charity for kids who can't afford winter clothes, and I also expressed all my thankfulness to my loving and supporting family and friends and I tried my very best to give them love and support back. Because it was Thanksgiving and all ...

I do still want to give. As long as this kid gives me my iPod or money within the next week. Then I will forgive him. Because not only do I think it's important to be a giving person, but I also think its important to be a forgiving person. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Hes young and stupid. As long as he learns that stealing is wrong and mean, then I'll move on. I'll move on, and I still fully intend to complete 30 days of giving.

Maybe thats what I gave away yesterday - I gave away a life lesson.
Ehhh ... thats really stretching it.

1 comment:

  1. man lindsey that sucks!! you have had awful luck with ipods. Good job standing up for yourself though, I think you probably taught a lesson to all 25 of those boys playing basketball-- there's equally something wrong with sitting back and watching someone ELSE do something wrong, and they should feel guilty for letting that kid steal something of yours. Hopefully you gave them that lesson and they won't do something like that again. Also you gave everyone who read this a sad but important lesson that you can't trust society to be as respectful and honorable as you are yourself, unfortunately you have to prepare for people do do things like this, and hopefully when this happens, you can turn the situation into a lesson for those involved. Glad you got his name and info and hopefully the cops get your ipod back AND get the kid in trouble!!

    love you and miss you!