Tuesday, December 1, 2009

this is a naive girl's thoughts on determination and confidence ...

My iPod was returned. The world may now restore order.

While I was talking to the officer who returned it to me, he said to me "I honestly didn't think we'd get this back. People steal iPods all the time. They are so hard to trace down."
And I said to him, "Yeah well I was determined."
and he replied, "yeah ... I could tell."

And I was determined. And it worked. I got it.

One time somebody told me that I always get what I want. At the time, it was supposed to be a negative comment. But for some reason, I really wasn't offended. Because I know in my heart that even if this is true, even if I do get what I want, it's because I work hard for it. And I don't see how that can be wrong of me.

I deserved to have my own iPod back. So I didn't give up. I was determined to have what is rightfully mine, and I got it. And in other situations in life, if there is something that I think I deserve, because it is rightful to me, then I will do everything in my power to get it. Why would I ever give up on something that I want?

I think that the negative perception of getting what you want comes from people who get things without working hard for them, for people who don't deserve them.

For example, if I just asked my Dad for money so I could go shopping for clothes, and I got it... that could definitely be seen as a negative way of "getting what you want." Because what I wanted was just handed to me without doing anything! (ps. he would never!)
But its different to get what you want because you work for it. If you do all the right steps in order to get what you desire, then I don't think it can be seen as a negative thing. Its called DRIVE. Determination. I want it, so I do what needs to be done in order for me to get it.

I know you might be thinking, "geesh its just an iPod ... what is this girl talking about??"
... But I'm really not talking about the iPod here.
Im talking about doing what you want with your life. Reaching your goals.
Im talking about putting in the effort for something that you want. TAKING CONTROL YOUR LIFE. The way I was so determined to get my iPod back just got me thinking about going after the things that you want, and not giving up. Standing up for yourself and your wants and your needs.

I will not sit back and let other people have control over MY life. I am the only one that can control my life. I determine what I want to do with it, how I want to feel with it, and where I want to go with it.

This is not to say that I won't take other people into consideration. I want to be a loving caring and friendly person. I need friends. I need family. I need people. I just think that there are some situations where you have to put yourself first. When it comes down to standing up for your rights, your physiological needs as a human being, your emotional needs to sustain life, you need to put yourself first. Over anybody else.

Its not right to always get what you want.
But if you have good morals behind the reasons why you want something, and you do all the right steps to get it YOURSELF, then you deserve it. And if you put forth the effort, then you should get it.

So yeah, if I want my iPod back, I will get my iPod.
If I want to feel happy, I will do what it takes to feel happy.
If I want to be a successful dietitian in the future, I will do what it takes, and I will be a successful dietitian.
Because these are things in life that I will work for. These are things that I want SO badly that I will do whatever it takes. And I will make a point of it, that I want it. And when I get it, I will gloat about it because I am proud that I used my determination to get what I want out of life. And so from the outside, people may think "she always gets what she wants." And I wont disagree... I get a lot of good things. But its through hard work, determination, drive, and perseverance. And I don't care what other people see it as, because I know what I went through to get there.

One time I read a chick lit book about philosophy, that was also partially femenistic, and it had a really great quote that really stuck in my mind. (I'll look it up tomorrow and find it exactly...) It said something along the lines of "A girl is not defined by how her actions are judged. Only she can define herself, through the hours of pain that only she herself knows she goes through."

So basically, stand up for yourself and do what you need to do in order to get what you want out of life. Don't let anybody get in your way, or change your path, or have control in your actions. And don't let the fear of being judged stop you. Because you are the only one who can define yourself. Only you know what you go through and what you deserve.

Anybody follow? Or do I sound like a hot headead selfish feminist? Oh well, I don't care if you judge me :P

Anyway, page 94 (I totally skipped ahead): THIS IS A DARE: Write a list of things you would like to try in your lifetime.
- living in a foreign country (even if just for a few weeks)
- skydiving and/or base jumping
- starting my own business
- being a teacher or a coach
- running a marathon
- do a triathlon
That's just my list for now, hopefully I'll add. Anyway, I really do want to try these things at some point. So I will. There's not much stopping me, so at this point, I have no reason not to do what I want. Therefore, I will.

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