Friday, October 2, 2009

This is almost as good as seeing a therapist

I flipped ahead a few pages this morning to where it said "THIS IS A CHOCIE"
That sounded like a good idea for me today. I want to have the power to choose. Choose what Im going do today. Choose how I'm going feel. Who Im going talk to. Having a choce in my life sounds like a good plan.
So my choice was to pick a number, and flip to that page, then flip 5 pages ahead. I picked 44 [ Because 4 is my favorite number, therefore 44 is twice as good ;) ] And the page I picked told me to write down and store ALL my secrets there.
At first I didn't think I had secrets. Im pretty open about my life (hence the online blog).
But all the sudden they came out. A ton. Serious things. Stupid things. Things that aren't a big deal, and things that are.
I would tell you about them- but I can't.
They're secrets.
BUT after doing this I got all worked up. Because most secrets are things you don't want people to know, because they are things that you are ashamed of, or hurt by, or embarrased by. I wouldn't tell people something that I think they will judge my character by; or I wouldn't tell somebody something that I think will hurt their feelings. So that is why they are secrets. But when I was done writing all these secrets down, I wasn't really feelings like a good person. I felt really low.
So i found the next page that said "This is an annoyance" and I decorated it so that it looked as ANNOYING as possible. And it was theraputic. After feeling guilty for having secrets, I let out all the annoying things that bothered me and just made the page look rediculous and it felt good.
Annoying things like stapling the whole page. I think staples everywhere are annoying. And glue and confetti stuck to it. I drew an angry snowman because I hate winter and I drew purple and red scribbles everywhere because it just looks straight up annoying to me. And i wrote down a few of my recent pet peeves such as selfish people and people who walk across an intersection and don't follow the crosswalk. THAT IS SO ANNOYING.

So my advice for the day: If you're feeling down or guilty about yourself, your thoughts or actions, then slash back and let out all the things in life that annoy you so that you feel better about yourself. I feel better about myself now!! Because even though I have secrets, there are much more annoying things in life. Like people who purposely walk across a busy intersection when the DONT WALK sign is flashing. Im way better that. (ps if you're one of those people who do that then you best be on good behavior when you're near me. hehe)

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