Sunday, October 18, 2009

this is Avril, looking on the bright side of a rainy day

Im so sorry to my 3+ followers that I haven't written anything in a week. I hope you haven't been too dissapointed in me and continue to read since I finally am writing again! My problem is that the next big thing that I am going to do ... I haven't done yet! It's all ready and I'm all prepared to do it, but I have been waiting for the perfect day to do it. I've envisioned how I want to do it and where and when. But then it rained most of this week. And my plan was shot. The rain just ruined the entire plan. And although I've tried to move on a do a few other things, they haven't been as exciting to me, or meaningful enough that I feel its worthy of blogging.

So this afternoon I finally decided, screw the rain. I will NOT let it rain on my parade. And I decided to go forth and compromise and do this thing at in indoor setting.

So I traveled to Starbucks to 1. complete the task, 2. have starbucks because its yummy 3. get homeowork done 4. get out of the house 5. possibly meet cool random people, strike up a coversation, and be everlasting friends/ meet my future husband (... all jokes aside, I always hope this will happen).

But once again .... it being a rainy day and all, Starbucks is packed. And there is no place for me to do my thang.
I feel a bit defeated. But at the same time, despite the rain, I will look on the bright side: I can still hopefully complete the other 2-5 purposes of coming to Starbucks. All is not lost.

AND funny coincidence ... along with the overwhelming desire to put myself out there, be silly, and blog about my life ... Friday night I also felt the overwhelming desire to dye my hair. Pink.
Its not AS crazy as you are probably thinking right now. Its just pink streaks in the bottom layer, so I still have blond hair. Except now I look like Avril Lavigne =) And I just now flipped to page 30 which tells me to take on a "Secret Identity" to be whoever I want....

At first I thought, "I don't want to be anybody else." Im not completely in love with my life or myself ... and sometimes I hate what Im doing, or saying, or how Im acting. But it doesn't mean that I actually want to be somebody else. Because Im assuming that everybody must feel this way at least a little bit. It's life. Its not heaven. Nobody is perfect. Everybody has problems. So even on days when Im at the lowest of lows about myself and my life, I realize that having somebody else's life woudn't make it any different. Its like that DMB song where he says "We all do it the same" ..... its true. We all live the same life and experience the same things at some point. So even when the not a book told me I could pretend to be whoever I wanted to ... I still didn't even want to.
BUT for the purposes of doing it, I decided that I've already got the hair down, so I might as well be Avril Lavigne. And I realized that we actually have a lot of things in common.
- the hot pink and blonde hair
- we're both awesome ;)
- she hates being in one place for too long and likes changing her goals and location and experiencing new things. (ME TOOOOOOO)
- she doesn't really like the dark (I hate it. I hate night time. I like bright sunny days)
- she likes to look on the bright side of situations and doesn't like to dwell too much on anything (not saying that I always do this ... but I want to and I try to)
6. She got divorced because she just wants to "live her own life" (according to People magazine). And although Im not divorced, and having a failed marriage is one of my biggest fears in life, I am at the moment all about "Living my own life."

Rock on.


  1. I think its cool you are hoping to find "the one"... I found Alicia by accident... and she's hopefully going to be with me for a long time... I had emailed her about a job and she responded back something silly, and it snowballed from there... and I always think about how different my life would be right now, although its only been three months, had I not sent that email...

    Also, the whole reinvent yourself thang... I don't know how much i agree that we all experience the same things... I think the naivety of human nature is something you can't overlook... I (as you know) am very different from some people. I look at life differently. I don't fear death, at all. I don't value many things that my friends value... Dave Mathews, can choke on one of the blunts that he smokes before every show... We don't all do it the same. Most people live life similarly, but I plan on owning people. Always have an end goal of being at the top, and that mindset will set you apart from people who just want to live. I don't want to just live, I want to dominate. So rock on Avril... Rock on.